Zargonian Zombie Horses & A Visit To The Physio

I understand that it is important to blog regularly if one is writing. It’s been nearly a week so, having taken a break from writing some “proper sentences”, here’s my latest, newly minted tuppence worth…..

I am still in the early stages of writing my first “proper” novel. I’m almost certainly going to finish it. Sometime. In the future. I’ve no idea when. Unless a fate equivalent to death befalls me. Or I quit in a fit of apathy.

When I set out to write a novel, I had a seed of an idea for the start of the story. I didn’t know where it was going to take me but it was definitely going to have all of the following elements :

  1. Human interest (relationships, grief or summat like that anyway)
  2. The odd cliche (because the pen is mightier than the sword)
  3. A few song references (because if you try somtime, you get what you need)
  4. Some movie quotes (because I totally can handle the truth)
  5. Zombies (Walkers definitely allowed)
  6. Aliens (You’ve got to think like a Vegan)
  7. Bombs and stuff (More Weapons N Tulips than Guns N Roses)

Having done away with items 5 through 7 (I still have plans for a story involving all three of these, but now is not the time), I found that I had to develop some sort of way to continue item 1. (Items 2 through 4 I think I can handle myself, thanks).

So, I did some research. Then some more research. Then I thought about a fantastical storyline “What, like Zombies, Aliens and Bombs and stuff?” I hear you cry.

No no no no no. NO.

But it was fantastical in some ways at least. In fact, when I read it back, it was pretty unbelievable. Although my physiotherapist thought it sounded “really good” (she reads a lot, but mostly about horses. You know who you are!) I for one remained, after some calm relfection, unconvinced.

I also confessed to not really wanting horses in my book. This was, incidentally, in between bouts of screaming as my shoulder and neck were being mashed to a painful pulp. Unless they were Insurgent Zombie Alien horses from the planet Zarg. With nuclear bombs instead of saddles. I didn’t think that would work (but copyright reserved. You know, just in case).

So I had to do something really difficult. I had to actually start writing a “proper” plot. Then I felt the need to develop that into a “story”. And my fantastical storyline seemed just a bit too unbelievable. I set out to make this a real story. But aren’t “real” stories boring? Afterall, it’s not an autobiography (now that really would be boring). It’s just going to be a story that (hopefully) many of us can relate to and there might even be the odd line that will make the reader (yes, I hope to have at least one reader) smile.

But then I thought to myself, what fantastical things have happened recently? The answer is, a LOT.

I refuse to go into detail (you’ll have an idea of what’s happening if you have picked up a newspaper, watched the news or checked out your social media newsfeed recently).

It is not my aim to reduce the significance of any recent tragic events to that of a poorly worded metaphor.

Suffice to say, a lot of events that have happened in the world recently that make me feel incredibly sad for the individuals and families of those involved. But that is not what I would want to read about in a work of fiction. And I don’t have the knowledge or the words to justify things that happen for real.

So, having thought all of this through, I decided to keep it “real” but not too “real”. This is fiction. I am not sure that my Zargonian Zombie Horses can top what’s going on for real in this, frankly, screwed up world of ours anyway.

To sum up. In my writing, there might be a few things “out of the ordinary” but I don’t think I am taking us down the rabbit hole just yet. It doesn’t mean that the eight year old in me won’t do so eventually though.


“Keep the excrement flowing”

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